go grab the good!

Today is the day!  After loads of planning and lots of hard work, I’m proud to launch my new website:  Grab the Good.  This site is the next step in my writing journey and contains the history of my former blog, Butterflies and Mud Pies, on which I will no longer post.  Grab the Good focuses on the same important goal:  finding good in every day.  Through personal insights, heartwarming stories, lots of laughs and even some experts dropping by to share their opinions, I hope to help you do just what the site name says, grab the good.  Sometimes it’s hard to see it amidst the chaos and challenge of our days, but it’s surrounding us all the time.  From good recipes to good causes, good advice to good family, I’ll be writing about the good in everything and look forward to sharing my thoughts with you.

On the site, you’ll also find my national weekly column of the same name, written for the GateHouse News Service, as well the associated video column.  I believe that all this good will help us zero in on what’s most important in life, the simple goodness we can enjoy by living in the moment and realizing the wonder that lies right in front of us.

I hope you’ll visit and subscribe to Grab the Good via email in order to receive my latest postings right to your inbox.   You’ll find the subscription box in the upper right corner – just enter your email address, confirm your subscription and you’re in.  You’ll start receiving updates with my next post.
It’s my goal for Grab the Good  to reach as many readers as possible.  If you feel inspired to do so, please share my site with your friends and social networks; anyone you think might be interested and urge them to subscribe, too.  Just imagine the the awesome ripple effect sure to come from all of us grabbing the good!

shoestring living: making mother's day more meaningful

Here's my most recent Shoestring Living video:  Make Mother's Day More Meaningful!

Look for links, like this one, to my latest published articles, columns and videos in the coming months.

the right folks at the right time

I recently read somewhere that in order to welcome the right situations and people into your life at the right times, you've got to say "yes" as often as possible.  For this homebody, saying "yes" is sometimes a challenge, but hindsight and wisdom get me out the door even when my tired bod says "no."

That being said, I jumped at the chance to get together with respected friend and colleague, Patti Minglin, CEO of Go Girl Communications, at a recent meeting.  In the midst, I finally met my amazing Chicago Parent editor, Alena Murguia, who I've known - only virtually - for more than four years.  What a morning - two writing mentors, coffee and lots of laughs!  I can't tell you how much fun it was to hash out creative ideas with a group that extended beyond me, myself and I.  What's more, the meeting ended with a serious take-away for me - a big time lecture regarding my lackadaisical attitude about self-promotion.

It's ironic that I put myself out into the world, my naked words alone on pages and screens all over the U.S., and never think a thing of it.  Conversely, I can barely contemplate sharing these same articles and columns with those that frequent my social media networks.  Every day I advise clients to use social media to their advantage, to extend their customer bases and further establish their brand through Twitter, Facebook, blogs and more.  Some serious soul-searching has left me with a realization:  rejection from those closest to me might just be my ultimate fear, but putting myself out there might just be the most trusting endeavor of my life.  Not only is it an opportunity for career growth, but for enormous personal growth, too.

With the help of technology, the stern words of wise friends and a healthy dose of courage, I am turning the proverbial page.  I know what I want and I intend to get it.  The time is now.  Much gratitude to Alena and Patti for the words I needed to hear.

I am currently reading The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho.  While I've barely gotten into it, the message is already ringing clear.  The old king says to the boy in search of his Personal Legend, "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

I believe that's true.  And when you combine 'want' with 'effort' while focused on your passion?

Success is the only possible outcome. Look out world!

 

career day

On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to go to Logan's class and talk to the kids about writing as a career.  I was nervous that I'd struggle to gain their attention or keep them interested and did some research in order to present it in a way that would speak to them.  Some things I think I hit on the mark, while other efforts were lost on them completely.  I quickly learned that the best script means nothing, even in the hands of decent speaker, when kids are allowed to ask questions.  As soon as it began, my time with them took on a life of its own.  Here are a few of my favorite questions:

"Do you make lots of money?" (No)

"Have you written about any famous people?" (Not anyone that you'd consider famous.)

"What is your favorite type of poem to write?"  (In my dreams I sit around writing poetry, not content on Smart Analytics integration for utility companies!!)

"This is not a question, but my mom has a company that sells cute hair bows she makes.  Would you like to buy some?" (Ummm, I'll have to check that out!)

These are just a few of the fifty questions they asked.  The only one that matters was probably the one about whether or not I ever have to edit my work. We had a great conversation about why editing makes you a better writer and how ALL good writers have to do it.  It's actually one of my favorite things to do!  We also talked at length about finding a way to turn what you love, whatever it is, into a career.

And the day ended with one child asking if I ever wrote for AT&T.  Another asked about PWC.  The next about White & Associates.  Soon, every child in the classroom took their turn at asking me if I'd worked for their mom's or dad's company.  It was pretty funny.

And Logan silently smiled the whole time.

lights, camera, action!

Well, in hindsight, today was a bucket-list day. I guess this little adventure was never actually on my bucket list, but I know now that it should have been. I was taken totally by surprise a few weeks ago when my editor at GateHouse Media asked if I'd be interested in shooting a quick video spot to become available with my Shoestring Living column when it runs each week. So this writer jumped at the chance, veered left and ventured into some video work. Not ever having done something like this before, I was excited, but nervous, too.

All I can say is thank God for reality TV, because while we shot the first four video spots in my home and our neighborhood today, I thought of the many comments I've heard from judges on shows like The Next Food Network Star. "Look at the camera. Tell a personal story. Smile. Show energy and personality." In one spot, I assemble a recipe I've created. Let me tell you, it's an art to get all those things together without the spoon flipping out of the bowl or forgetting to put in an ingredient!

Anyway, it was such a great experience; one I look forward to continuing. I think I was the most excited after it was all over and I realized how much I truly enjoyed the whole process.

Stay tuned for some links to my video debut!

Cover Girl!

How lucky am I? My upcoming article on Sports Safety will be the cover story with the best cover model of all - Riley! After a recent photo shoot by my client, little miss R landed the cover!

The magazine runs nationally in newspapers across the country and should be out later this month. I'm working hard to get more info on distribution.

And as you might have guessed, someone is pretty excited about this!

Poem-a-day Challenge!

I just finished!

For the last thirty days, I've written a poem per day on the Poetic Asides blog by Robert Lee Brewer - http://blog.writersdigest.com/poeticasides/ I was one of around 850 people that posted daily poems based on the author's prompts.

I am not a poet, by any means, but it was such a totally cool experience and definitely helped me to push the creative envelope. What a total thrill to participate, but more so to be able to read all the amazing work written by serious poets! I don't have sights set on a career in poetry, but I look forward to doing it again next year. (April is National Poetry Month.)

Reinvention?

I was profoundly affected by Oprah’s show yesterday. It is very rare that I even watch it in daylight hours, much less within two weeks of the original air date. Another round of my good friend prednisone has left me feeling no motivation and the inability to make a decision. As I stood in the kitchen at dinner time pondering what to create out of linguine and cheese crackers, I could only think, “I don’t even like to cook anymore!” This is a big deal for me. I love to cook. I need to cook. I get something more than a meal out of it – so this revelation stopped me in my tracks. Instead of making dinner, I walked to the couch, called up my DVR list of unwatched Oprah’s and found “Secrets of Overstressed Moms” at the top of the list.

The honesty and humor of this program really spoke to me and I was so grateful for it. I constantly wonder what is wrong with me when I can’t remember simple things or get it all done or do everything perfectly while EVERYONE around me so obviously can! Like an imposter, I’m so tired of feeling relieved that I made it through again at the end of every day. Lo and behold, most moms out there feel the same way. (Why they always look more put together than me, I’ll never know.) Sure, I’ve thought others like me might exist, but I needed evidence and Oprah provided it.

I think my favorite moms on the show were the one that pretended to be a little bit crazy in order to obtain obedience from her kids, the one that owned up to using a diaper for herself in the car in order to preserve the sweet sleep of both her children on a road trip and lastly the mom who said that no one told her that she’d hate her husband after having kids or – sorry – that a boner in the back would constitute foreplay!

I’m pretty sure that I’m having "mid-life crisis-light." My personal baby boom is over and the economy is slowing down the advancement of my writing career. There are health concerns. I can’t tell you the last time I washed the bathtubs. I opt for convenience over saving money OFTEN. As a watch others have babies or work, I wonder who I am and what I am supposed to be doing. I wonder if I will ever know, exactly, but feel this underlying certainty that there is surely more in store. I know that it does involve some reinvention – I always thought I was good at that – I just feel, well, stagnant and tired right now.

Every silly GI doctor I see as well as some well-meaning friends and family, urge me to try to remove the stress from my life. I find this comical. In an attempt to prove that it could not be done, I made a realistic list of all the things that add stress to my life. Let me first say that I don’t walk around crazy-stressed, I really just walk about crazy-crabby. (Not the ideal persona I want etched in my kids’ minds for eternity!) I’ll tell you that I’m right about many things on that list; they can’t be changed. But some can, with money it seems. Not knowing where it will come from, I’ve decided to knock them off anyway and hope the funds shows up. I’m getting my house cleaned – BOOM – one thing off the list.

I’ve never done this before, but I'm asking for your comments. I want to know if there are some of you out there just like me who, although keeping up appearances, are struggling a bit. Are you done having kids? Does that even matter? Do you sometimes feel like you don't “fit” with other mom’s you encounter? Do you find yourself dreaming about what’s next? Was this your experience when your kids were younger? I’m on a mission to figure it out and would love your help. Maybe I’ll write an article about it all; maybe it will just piece things together a bit – either way, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and I hope you’re not turned off by my honesty.

One final note: it surely goes without saying that my kids are my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Also, I am far from hating my husband; he’s the best there is. I don’t want a new gig - I just want to reclaim myself a little bit in this one.

Set Back and a Pep Talk

I can’t tell you how excited I am that the last few minutes of this month are ticking away and that a fresh, new start will soon be in front of me. After what began as a whirlwind and dream-like beginning to my fledgling writing career, I am (almost) back to square one. Some very unforeseen and unfortunate happenings have left me with just one client, but I guess this whole thing is pretty much feast or famine.

Early in the month, I learned that work that I was writing monthly (and that paid great) would be ending – there was a change in format resulting in no writing needs for the client at all. Then, just this week, the newspaper where my column resides went bankrupt. I don’t really care that I won’t be compensated for the last few columns in print; I just want to continue to write the darn thing. This has not been my month at all.

We’ve been unimaginably busy these last two weeks and I haven’t had much of a chance to pull myself up and forge into the pavement pounding work that I probably should have had to do at the beginning of this endeavor. I’ve tried little bits here and there, but no more than a few stolen moments at a time. While lots of things seem to be on the horizon for the fall with both new and old clients, it looks as if it will be one bone-dry summer. I’ll have a lot of free time to spend generating work!

There’s one thing that good about all this though and I’m not sure if it’s denial or just knowing in my heart that this writing gig for meant for me. I am disappointed, but I am not deterred. I fully intend on still making it – whatever that means for me. These last six months have been so personally rewarding that I just can’t let it all go. I have received such great feedback from editors, family, friends, acquaintances and strangers, my column must have struck a cord somewhere. And the bottom line is that I want this; for me, for a career, for our future. Thanks to all of you that continue to encourage me – it’s working!

So, as I write my 75th blog post, I begin again.

Again, Finn.

The thrill of all this writing, for a little money, is way too cool. But there is one big downfall, the end of my daily or every-other-day blogs. At this point, I am doing my writing, about eight pieces a month, with all but four requiring multiple source interviews, at night, on weekends and during the occasional nap of Finn’s. I hate writing during the day, because the girls get the shaft. I am definitely at max capacity for working this way and have begun the process of trying to find a wonderful at home day care in my neighborhood where Finn could spend a few hours a week. I hate to do it, but it’s only a few hours and it would lighten the load so much. Plus, Mike wouldn’t have to walk in from a hard day’s work twice a week and immediately shift into super dad – taking over dinner mid-serve – at the most difficult and crazy kid-time of day. Believe me, doing it this way is worth it, but it would be great to have it continue to ease into our lives instead of it getting challenging too soon.

But this blog thing is driving me crazy! I miss it so much and just can’t seem to find the time to get it on the priority list. It’s such an amazing outlet, such a creative release for me; I just need to get it back on my radar screen. Plus, it seems when I let too much time pass between posts, they all seem to be about the CENTER OF OUR UNIVERSE right now, Finn. Not that he isn’t one of our centers, but zooming the camera out to the one week view seems to only allow for Finn’s “big disasters or triumphs” of the week.

(Believe me, it’s mostly disasters.) But seriously, here’s my week in snippets, starting Monday, St. Patrick’s Day: Finn removes diaper and pees in bed, Finn spills special Lucky Charms breakfast ALL OVER floor, Finn dumps yogurt drink all over dog, Finn cries in gym nursery (my one escape) and we have to leave, I find Finn with an empty Tylenol canister from a bag I used SEVEN years ago (I don’t even know where he found it), I call poison control center not knowing if he ate any pills – I’m sure, after two Finn-related calls, I now have some kind of record there.

This is an account of Monday, March 17th, between the hours of 8 and 11 am, and there are countless details of those three hours that I have omitted. I’m sure you understand how, with my adorable Tasmanian devil, there is almost no time for Logan and Riley, or Mike and me to even participate in this life, let alone my blog. Hence the need for my return to more frequent posting. Not only do my two (crazy wonderful due to their brotherly rival) girls deserve center stage every once in awhile, but I can’t risk the little man developing a complex from the constant stream of motherly frustration (always coated in loads of motherly love, of course) filling these therapeutic ‘pages’.

No, I won’t really give you my whole week in review, I think you get the idea. And to his Dennis the Menace credit, I have to tell you how the week ended. In the midst of a house guest, egg hunts, a great party and more Easter candy than kids can actually eat, our little 22 month old tornado pooped on the potty. Talk about a triumph! It was glorious and all of us immediate family members were there to celebrate and cheer him on. I was two seconds behind him as he barreled down the hall and hopped in our bed, where he promptly finished his business and went potty.

So in the midst of our party, I was washing all of our bedding. That little guy just has to put his special touch on everything!!

Published!

It has been a busy, but very cool week for me personally. I feel so incredibly blessed by the writing work that has quickly found me, in such a short time. At this point, all I know is that I am for sure supposed to be on this road, at this time – too many signs are telling me so. My first published work that isn’t membership based went to print this week – it was a couple of tiny articles in a local publication. It would have been exciting to me, even if no one I knew saw it, but they did and they called, and emailed and even sent flowers. It was pretty cool.

I’m really good at exaggerating things a bit when it fits or minimizing others. I guess I need to entertain those minimizing thoughts for a moment. The fact is that this all was a little embarrassing, too. I’m not sure what it is that makes us all a little ashamed when we achieve some type of personal success, but I have felt that this week, too. I mean we are talking about two little blurbs in a not well-known magazine, that I didn’t get that much money for – see that’s how I rationalize it in my head. And then there’s the other voice that says simply, “That is YOUR name in print! That is SO cool!” And the fact that so many family members and friends are so happy for me is pretty neat too – everybody needs to feel that every once in awhile. And it also feels great to have this minuscule facet of my life that is just mine, to investigate, play around with and improve upon. It won’t effect anyone else, but me – and compared to the rest of my life (which I would never trade for anything by the way), that is kind of a relief.

If I can keep this going and growing slowly while continuing to manage everything the same at home (with the exception of a cleaning service and the occasional afternoon babysitter which I will splurge on as soon as I make a little more money), I can already see that this will be my dream job. I feel so lucky to have found it. I feel so honored that my family and friends directed me here; not giving up after so many years. I am grateful beyond words that I have a husband who’s been willing to support pretty much anything I’ve wanted to do since we’ve been together and kids that can will at least try to be quiet if I take the rare, but occasionally necessary five minute call during the day. I don’t know…. This feels pretty good!

My Old List

While cleaning my office this week, I found this list that I made more than ten years ago. It’s on a random legal pad, with no title, but what it is – is obvious. I vaguely remember writing it, on an airplane, flying between Chicago and Tampa shortly after we got married. It’s a laundry list of all the things, at that point in time, that I wanted to do in my life. It was funny to find it, and amazing that I haven’t seen it before now with the moves from both Riverside and then Naperville. It definitely feels like someone in her mid-twenties jotted this down. Most of the things I still want to do – some don’t seem remotely critical at this point in my life. More importantly, I have accomplished several. It may not be a ton of items knocked off, but when you consider what they are – they might just be the most significant ones!

I think it needs a revision, or some additions – one day soon I’ll get to that. For now, I thought it might be fun to see. In no important order except the one I wrote them in, here they are:

Graduate from college
Take my mom on an all expense paid trip
Run 10 miles
Be in the best possible physical shape
Travel through Europe – all over
Go to Australia
Go to Key West
Go to Alaska
Do some type of mission work in another country
Have a collection of antiques
Grow a successful garden
Swim with dolphins
Ride in a hot air balloon
Slalom on water skis
Ski a “black”
Refurbish an old house
Write something that gets published
Read the classics
Have a child
Nurse my child
Own a couple of horses
Learn to play an instrument / piano?
Have one moment in time where I can truly see that everyone I love is happy

Knowing that I’ve met some of these goals makes me excited to add to the list. It’s never too late to have a new dream – that’s certainly something I want my kids to believe. I have totally shared my excitement about my writing work with the girls and I think that they really get it. For years, it’s been easy to NOT try and write anything – from the fear of rejection to complaining about the lack of time in my life – time has passed. I have felt such passion and ownership in the work I’ve done and contacts I’ve made – part of me wishes I’d done it long ago. I swear, I may be more tired, but I feel younger!

So this list is a reminder for me to keep at it, keep dreaming up new dreams, and keep hammering away at the older ones. And the cool thing is, if our kids always see us beginning new things and following our dreams, hopefully they’ll always do that too.

Beginning

So, I am at the starting point of what seems to be a very intriguing and exciting possibility: a freelance writing career. After years of writing for my own pleasure, I’m doing it, pounding the virtual pavement with tenacity and trying to find paid jobs to get this thing off the ground. I know I can write and have been blessed to be connected to a wonderful freelancer from our local area, Patti, who is amazingly helpful and supportive, gave me my first break and now a couple of paid features a month to get under my belt. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for her!

As I struggle through this month’s feature (it’s for a professional newsletter in a field that I have not worked in before) I mostly contend with the need to build confidence in my writing and my ability to pick up something new, digest it and be able to write about it. There is this period of time when writing, for me, when, no matter what I do, it just seems like chaos. All of a sudden, it clicks, I don’t know how or when it happens, but it really always does. It is the hardest part to wait out and I always think “this is the time it won’t happen!” But it comes eventually and in time. From a career standpoint, this is something I want like nothing else, and I am willing to do what it takes. No doubt it will take believing in me --- in the midst of something new, maintaining self-efficacy is a tough challenge, but surely possible.

I have a huge portfolio of personal writing endeavors, but as far as paid projects, only a few press releases and as of this coming Monday, my first byline. It is a huge deal for me and I am really proud of myself. I have other things in the works, too – I am anticipating many good things to come. At this point, believing in me might be the single most important thing I can do!