What If?

So I’m a few days late, but I couldn’t let the event go by without mention. Eleven years seems so long ago and so short at the same time; so full of the life with which we’ve packed it. When Mike asked me on Saturday night what my favorite year of our marriage was, I thought for a moment. I could only say “this year!” On the surface, that’s a crazy notion; this has not been an easy year and we are facing more challenges, to say the least. But we are making progress in other areas of our lives that will change things forever. Never before in our time together have we been more in tune with our family’s future, hopeful about what lies ahead and sure about what we each can bring to the table. We are far from perfect, but our years together are leaving us smarter about each other and with the knowledge that we can pretty much handle anything that comes our way.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I wouldn’t have looked over that high school auditorium balcony at fifteen. What would have happened if I didn’t notice him down there? What if we didn’t have Mr. Bradley’s English class together or become good friends that kept in touch through college? What if that seemingly silly school girl crush on a messy-haired, jeep-driving, shredded clothes-wearing young man with the most insane blue eyes I’d ever seen hadn’t festered for all those years? What if we wouldn’t have met again at (of all places) Tracy’s Tavern and known that things were different? What if we would have given up on our long distance romance instead of taking the plunge and moving to Florida on a whim? The thought of what “would be” (or maybe what “wouldn’t be”) is enough to drive me mad.

When I look at the faces of the two people in this photo from a million years ago – thanks to Finn who ransacked a box in my office last week – I see so much that we just didn’t know. (You can tell how old this picture is if you note the HUGE "scrunchi" on my wrist!) But in good times or bad, I’d take my partner time and time again. There is no other person I’d rather ride off into the sunset with, detours and all.

Happy 11th anniversary to the man I love.