katy perry, and me?

If you asked about my future writing plans, the last thing I'd expect my answer to include would be the new Katy Perry movie, Katy Perry:  Part of Me.  Earlier this week, I took the girls and their friends (and the boy - I'm sure not sure what the appeal was for him!)  Maybe I'm a sucker for a good story, but this actually was one.  I really enjoyed it and recommend it highly.

Before the movie, I wondered what the message would be for the kids and what they might take away.  Mike even wondered out loud, "I don't understand how this can be a movie for kids..."  After having seen it, I think the opportunity exists for kids to take away a lot.

First of all, the movie begins and ends with confessional-style submissions from Perry's fans, ages 8 to twenty-something, talking about how she has impacted their lives.  Each one of the children speaking has some valuable insight to share beyond their love for Perry; something I could see the 10 year olds in my group latching onto. 

More importantly, the movie gently tells the tale of love lost and the grueling toll a touring schedule takes on an artist.  I was moved to tears at the reality of Perry's experience, understanding that place we've all been: ready to give up but finding the strength inside to go on to whatever lies ahead.  She shows all of us, me included, that when times get tough, the tough breakdown.  And then they get going, stronger than before.  That's the human experience in a nutshell.

So while there were a few movie moments that left me squirming, (I'm still waiting for the "I Kissed a Girl" conversation), I'm thrilled that we went.  I'd rather share reality and humanity with my kids any day, than manipulate our good world with especially rosey-colored glasses.  I won't tell them the road ahead will not have bumps.  Because it will.  Witnessing Perry's ability to hang on and forge ahead while celebrating her own individuality is just the kind of life lesson I love to share with our children. 

Thanks Katy!

the village matters so much

Finn's baseball season ended last night and it's bittersweet.  While I know we're all ready for some free summer evenings around here, it's been so much fun watching him learn the game and get better along with his young teammates from the sidelines.  We lucked out with super supportive coaches and families, all there to ensure that our kids were challenged, confident and learning all season long.  We've experienced the same community, kid-valued spirit on Logan's swim team and it's made me realize how important it is to have a "village" like this behind our kids. 

Not only are they learning skills, having fun and spending time doing things they love, they're also feeling part of a bigger group of their peers and other families who cheer and support them right along with their own family.  They join that group in support of other kids.  Their enthusiasm builds and the group's numbers grow, until we are all cheering everyone on together, inspiring so many good vibes, that I can't even describe it with words.  The "village" behind our kids matters so much.

So as baseball winds down, I'm already looking forward to the fun and camaraderie of next year.  Of all the great times, plays and laughs, my favorite moment has to be this one:

Our team was at bat Monday night and Finn was supposed to be in the hole.  He had run off to relieve himself in the prairie grass behind the field since there were no bathrooms on site.  We knew he was up and we were calling and calling to him, as his spot moved from the hole, to the deck.  Just as the little guy before him got a hit, he appeared in front of me, with two freshly picked cone flower blooms and a shy smile.  Then he ran off to hit the ball.

On Monday, more than any other day, I needed this.  I didn't know it, but Finn did.

announcing abby

So in love with my beautiful new niece!

onward and upward with YOU

As someone who lives to learn and write about the good things that stand out in our lives every single day, I'm also human and occasionally catch myself urging my kids to conform.  In hindsight, this shocks me.  What is it that makes me think I need to change something about their uniqueness in order to make them want to be just like everyone else?  I'm not sure.

The fact is, it need only matter to them if their clothes don't fit right or their hair isn't brushed.  For nonconformity outside the realm of health and personal safety, what can really go wrong?  Discovering their own likes and style should come from them, not from annoying reminders from me.  Years ago, I was appalled by parents who were hopeful that their children would be teased for sucking their thumb or acting foolishly with hopes it would curb the behavior. I was the parent who fought to ward off all that harmful harassment with too much information that my kids could not, and would not, digest.

While I'm much more willing now to let them learn lots of life lessons on their own, I still falter into my mama bear role at times.  But I fight hard to let THEM stand their ground and be their own people and personalities.  As long as they are good at heart, being exactly who they are and not worrying a lick about what the world thinks is the best way to go, if you ask me.  I, like most of us do about our own kiddos, already think they're perfect anyway.

We will love them like crazy no matter what, who, how, when or why.  So onward and upward with YOU, I say.  Off into the future to just be everything good that YOU already are.

attitude of gratitude

Being grateful, being focused on and thankful for what you're blessed with, is one of the secrets of life.  When I'm really on top of my game (or have a moment or two for free thought) I try, to at least think about that for which I'm grateful.  Sometimes I have the energy to even write these things down in a gratitude journal; an idea that I wholeheartedly believe in but never really got off the ground for me.  If you were to look at my journal, it would appear I've only had grateful days about seven times in the last three years.  Not an accurate account.

Reading Judy Belmont's uber-inspiring post from yesterday on Stepcase Life Hack,  I couldn't help but be moved to try again.  I want to cultivate an attitude of gratitude every day and one of the ways I do this is through my writing.  Belmont's post reminded me of the attributes of a grateful person, and couldn't have done a better job describing the person I strive to be.  The Top 10 Habits of Grateful People is a must read if you're in the mood to cultivate the 'tude.  This, my friends, is good stuff.

In the meantime, sometimes you've just got to spell it out.  Here are a few random things I'm grateful for, right at this very moment:

1.  A good friend who has kids with the same age, gender, interests and schedules as mine.  I honestly have no idea how I'd survive this summer without the willing carpool schedule I share with her for a multitude of activities.  (Thanks Merritt!!)

2.  Hot coffee.  It's the only way out of the Keppra morning fog.

3.  The fact that one of my daughter's most loved activities recently relocated to our town, shaving about 40 minutes of rush hour driving off our days.  Not to mention the amazing new Phenom Gymnastics facility!

4.  A semi-successful summer chore system in the works.  There's still room for improvement, but we haven't thrown in the towel yet!  (This is already an Anderson summer record.) 

5.  Brave, optimistic kids.  I am amazed almost daily at my children and how they fearlessly face challenges that come their way.  Whether they're standing on the block of the pool waiting for the gun, dealing with the loss of someone they love, accepting things that come with growing up, performing for the judges, shaking off something that hurts emotionally or physically, or standing up for themselves with their pals, they are courageous at some point every single day.  They make me want to be better.  For them and for myself.
 

finger trap

Yesterday we played hooky.  Mike and I both threw caution to the wind, pushed work aside and took the kids to Raging Waves Waterpark.  It was a great day, although by lunch time the lines were brutal and the lazy river looked more like a crowded Florida beach on spring break that anything remotely relaxing.  Regardless, the kids had a blast, which is all that really matters, and we did, too.

While the girls went off to try another slide, Mike and I reluctantly agreed to ride that river with Finn, once again.  I am not a fan of EXTREMELY crowded public pools, so this was truly a labor of love.  We found two tubes, plunged in, linked up and popped Finn in Mike's lap.

I'm not sure what the deal is with kids of all ages being allowed to walk, run, splash, dive and swim without tubes in the lazy river.  I can't tell you how many times they swam right under my tube, tried to pop up between us or forcefully moved us out of the way so that they could continue their game of chase or chicken.  It was the exact opposite of relaxing (whatever that is.... parenting, maybe?)

In the few moments my mind was actually able to wander while we were shoved and knocked around,  Mike and I linked hands to stay connected to each other.  We weren't holding hands, but instead had our palms both faced downward, with our fingers interlaced and pointing toward each others' wrists.  Each time we were pushed or pulled away from each other, our fingers locked and tightened effortlessly, just like a Chinese finger trap.

It's funny, I thought, a good marriage is like a Chinese finger trap.  (Bear with me here.)  We're linked up and all intertwined, constantly combating things like demanding children, obligations and circumstance that attempt to pull us away from each other.  But the link of a solid marriage is strong, like a Chinese finger trap.  The harder life pulls or pushes, the stronger the bond.  Working together, whatever the goal, is the only option.  So, no matter what life brings, we can face it together, head on, and emerge even better than before.

"Trap" is a definitely a bad word choice and we've certainly faced greater challenges than the lazy river, but you get the idea.  If this is a trap, I'm grateful to be in it.

shoestring living: just say yes

A recent blog post inspired a Shoestring Living column, too.  Here's why you should say "yes" -  in print and on video!

Related posts:
give in.  say yes. 
shoestring living:  tips on giving kids allowance
shoestring living:  tips for reviving old routines

keep on holding tight

This time of year, as I wrote about last year (and the year before) is all wonderful and summery, but with an undercurrent of dread.  For the last several years, I've let the kids fly on their own to go visit Grandmom and Granddad in North Carolina before our annual summer vacation.  Even though summer is off and running and we're enjoying it to its fullest extent, occasionally my mind goes to the fact that in a few short weeks, I'll be putting a subset of my kids on a plane.  That will fly in the sky.  Without me on it.

And this year is different.  For the first time, it's not a subset, but a full set.  The three most precious little people in my world will look back and wave, board a plane and happily take off into the wild blue yonder.  Fearless and filled with a spirit for adventure, they'll speed away.

I already know this will be the worst two hours of my life and I'm already thanking my lucky stars that it's only two hours.  For someone who likes to hold the reigns, this is the epitome of letting go.  Once they're there, I'll be fine.  I love that they're going.  That they have these memories with their grandparents who live far away.  That they don't even entertain hesitation - they just fly.

Even though he waivered a bit in the begining, I'm sure Finn is ready.  However, I see something in his eyes when we talk about going, the logistics, what it will be like.  He looks at me as if to say, "Will you be okay?"  Even if I've said nothing at all, this little old man of mine knows how I'm feeling.

Last week, while walking around the Naperville Riverwalk, Finn grabbed my hand as usual.  Whenever my grip loosened, he repeated, "Hold on tight.  I like it when you keep on holding tight."  And since then, anytime we're near each other, he grabs my hand and says the same thing.

While watching a movie on Friday night, he took my hand and placed it on his chubby, dirty, boy foot.  He pressed down.  "Hold tight.  I like it when you keep on holding tight."

Either he's going to miss me or he knows I'm going to miss him.  I suppose both are true and he's easing us both through by reminding us to keep on holding tight.  I so love this little dude.

give in. say yes.

Last night we said "yes."  Yes to 8 kids who wanted to go to the pool at 7 PM.  We were cranky and tired and didn't want to go, but we said yes.  And they were so happy.  It made me realize that we need to say yes more often.  If you could have seen our kids' faces and the neighbor kids' faces when I said, "We'll take as many as we can fit in the car!"  Well, they were priceless.

As they joked and laughed and squealed from their squished, seatbelt-less positions in the back of the van, all I could think was that this is something they'll remember.  A late night trip to the pool with pals on a super hot summer night.  I even, probably ridiculously, imagine them as teenagers or young adults sitting around a bonfire or something reminiscing about it.  (I know, I'm probably getting ahead of myself here.)  But I mean, we've lived here for 5 years already and they used to look like this:

And now they look like this:

Time is flying.  Give them memories.  Say yes.

just a little boy

As parents, we need this.  Especially at a time when Finn's games become more competitive with each swing of the bat, and I can see his heart break for a moment if he strikes out or misses a play.  Baseball, swimming, gymnastics, whatever - this is the time to build them up.  "This is a moment a man you can make."  Love it!

At Monday night's game, a little dude on our team rounded second base and was heading toward third.  The ball had escaped the outfielders and a single turned into a big hit.  As he came toward third and the third base coach (also his Daddy) he sweetly asked, "Should I go home Daddy?" 

That's exactly how young these little guys are.  It amazes me that we've seen over-the-top parents at almost every game!

Source:  Facebook, I was unable to locate the origination point. 

hamburger

Throughout my childhood, I always had a fondness for my last name.  While other kids were uttering mouthfuls of "Schumaker" and "Humperdink", and learning to spell complexities like "Vanderplow", I was grateful for "Logan".  It was simple and made for easy new school introductions throughout our repeated transfers all over the Midwest during my young days.

I remember being thankful for that name and feeling that I was lucky to have it.  I even thought ahead about what an atrocity it would be to marry someone with a complicated or silly name someday.  Out of nowhere, the name "Hamburger" stuck in my mind.  Oh, the hilarious horror of becoming "Molly Hamburger" in the future!  I didn't obsess about it or anything, it just made me laugh.  Of course, this was before I walked into Mr. Brandon's sophomore English class and met the man of my dreams.  But that's another story.

"Hamburger" made me chuckle all through the years as I imagined myself or my friends with this silly surname down the line.  And as my life unfolded, I was relieved when my knight in shinning armor came attached to "Anderson"; just about as good as "Logan", if you ask me.  Still, I couldn't totally part with my maiden name, so I took it as my middle name to avoid being Molly ANNE ANderson.  And, admittedly, to hang on to it a little bit longer.  We then went on to name our firstborn daughter, Logan, too.  Lots of "Logan" for me.

But my personal penchant for "Hamburger" made a resurgence when I had a new young audience to entertain and I soon began telling my kids what a funny name I thought it was.  "What if you marry someone with the last name Hamburger?" I joke with my kids.  They laugh.  They think it's just as funny as I do.

Last night, while driving to gymnastics drop off and then to a baseball game, the kids were having a usual raucous discussion, this time about great movies.  One of our favorites, The Princess Bride, came up.  Logan was so adorably preteen sweet when she asked, "What's the only thing the farm boy says to her?"

"As you wish," I said and thought, I just love that.

And Logan said, "Oh yeah, I love that!" 

Then Riley asked, "What's that guy's name again?"

"I think it's Prince Humperdink," I answered.

And all three shouted, "Hamburger!  What if his last name was Hamburger?!"  Frenetic laughter broke out in the backseat.

And I laughed, too.  Hard.  It's nice to know these three kids really get me and that I'm leaving my mark on them, even if only via my bizarre history with the word "Hamburger." 

shoestring living: tips on giving kids allowance

This week's Shoestring Living focuses on how to effectively implement an allowance system with young kids this summer and beyond.  I struggle and have failed with this every summer so far, but not this year!  Read about my plan in one of the papers running it, the MexicoLedger.

And, if you're so inclined, take a peek at the associated video running on the Star Courier.

I'm so excited about this new system and can't wait to put it to work for us on Monday, June 11th.  I figured we needed a few free days before starting our engines.

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Check out some of my other Shoestring Living articles and videos:

Shoestring Living: May 24th:  Plan Summer Now
Shoestring Living: Tips for your Frugal Garden
Shoestring Living: Making Mother's Day More Meaningful

shoestring living: tips for reviving old routines

My column this week for the GateHouse News Service

For our family, summer is just one more school day away. Parents everywhere are screaming for a change in the routine and I am no different. I’ve announced a moratorium on lunch making, can barely push myself through our get-out-the-door rituals and updated my Facebook status this morning with, “Will this school year ever end?”

Read more.....

someone new, this day, comes

I am crazy-excited!  Sometime today, or in the wee hours of tomorrow morning, my third niece or first nephew will arrive!  My brother Tom, his wife Michelle and their two daughters, Emily and Ellie will be welcoming someone, gender unknown, into the world.  I can't wait to help welcome this new little life.

When someone I know well is on the verge of ushering in a new baby, I just can't get it out of my mind.  I doubt this feeling of excited anticipation of what's to come will ever diminish for me.  It takes me right back to the three most cherished days of my life, when we were blessed beyond words with the most precious responsibility and honor this world has to offer.  There is no way to describe that feeling, those treasured moments.  I am at a loss.

I love that I have a version of that wonderment again today, with this tiny little extension of our family on the way, ready to love and be loved and show us all how much more our hearts can hold.  Will it be pink or blue?  I can't wait to know and share the news with you. 

For now, a walk down my memory lane will have to do. 

For these moments of our own... I am thankful each and every day.