finn's ridiculous annual injury

After an accidental puppy bite in his ear, last year's summer sled/bike/gravel incident and last night's shenanigans, I'm certain Finn will likely entertain us each year with some bizarre injury.  Here's the scoop:

There were nine children in my basement, seven of whom were female.  I was carrying a laundry basket upstairs when the most shrill, intolerable screaming began underfoot.  As I flew down the stairs, I was literally terrified about what I would see when we met at the basement door.

What I encountered was louder screams and the most blood this parent has ever seen.

It was pouring down the back of Finn's head and down his back.  It was all over my shirt, shorts and in the nooks and crannies of my watch.  I grabbed towel after towel to clean it up so I could actually see the injury, which was endlessly evasive.  After cleaning it like crazy, the bleeding abruptly stopped and I got the story while we iced the lump on his head.

Finn was climbing an old punching bag that was propped next to a refrigerator.  There were two 5-pound hand weights on the fridge.  When he jostled the punching bag, he rattled the fridge and the weights fell off onto his head.  (What?)  All nine children are sticking by this story.

Of course, my brother, his wife and my nieces were on their way over for a night of swimming.  Finn was distraught that he'd miss the event.  Since the bleeding stopped, I asked him to wash off in a bath and we'd see if it started back up.  It didn't, so I acted like the seasoned mom of three that I am, and I let him go to the pool.

But when he hit the chlorinated water, that thing freshened up and started bleeding again.  A lot.  A vicious fight ensued, but Finn lost and Mike took him to urgent care.

In the end it turned out to be a deep puncture wound (from a hand weight?) that did not need stitches.  It was good that they went though; we needed their help getting it clean.  Mike called to tell me what happened and we all decided to meet at Oberweis for a treat.

When I got there, I was shocked to see blood pouring down the back of Finn's head again.  "They left it like that?" I asked.  "I thought they had it all cleaned up!"

"They did," Mike grimaced.  "I ran into (our friends) Brent and Johanna and when I went to shake Brent's hand, I accidentally punched Finn in the back of the head with my fist!  Don't tell him!"

Seriously, this first week off of summer sports could not be any more relaxing!

Bite Me!

You get used to the looks and scowls you receive while walking your Rottweiler around. After twelve years, it doesn’t even bother you when people instinctively cross to the other side of the street when they see you coming. You laugh when you think back to friends and family suggesting you might find her a new home when you decided to have kids. You’re thankful every moment you have her that you didn’t listen and that you gave your children such a strong, loving animal force to have and hold and remember. When she leaves you, you can barely stand a moment without a dog to love so you soon break down and get a puppy. The puppy is not a replacement and she is nothing like your older dog. You are shocked, but you adjust and she matures slightly faster than your children, which is a nice surprise. Despite the interruption of her “puppy-ness” in your life, you end up loving her like crazy. Still, her teeth are razor sharp for the first few months and you have to be on alert. For a mom of three, there are just times that you are not where you should be and this was one of them.

Finn won’t listen. Jesse won’t listen. While I chatted on a five minute phone call yesterday afternoon, they wrestled in the backyard - unbeknownst to me. Finn came in bleeding from the ear and my friendly neighborhood nurse confirmed my thoughts about stitches. We were off to the ER.

It honestly went off without a hitch; he didn’t shed one tear while they cleaned the wound and stitched him up. Logan and Riley (and Uncle Dan and Grammy) watched and cheered him on along with Whoa Whoa. The docs and nurses were so great, only threatening to call DCFS regarding the green nail polish Finn insisted I apply to him while doing his sisters’ for St. Pat’s. Three stitches later, we were out the door and out for pizza to celebrate Finn’s hospital bravery.

And now Jesse has a “record”. Yes, any dog bite (it really was just a snag of her tooth – she couldn’t be less vicious!) must be reported for the “three strikes and you’re out rule.” For all of you who balked at our thoughts of another rott, I’ve got to laugh as I announce that our wonderful family dog – our black lab – is the one that has landed us in the ER! Unbelievable!!

Apparently whoever is in charge did not read my recent post on illness, doctors and hospitals – I have really had enough now!

earACHE!

There’s nothing like a good hoof in the ear, followed by a trip to the ER to get your weekend going. Apparently (I was vacuuming) Riley was somehow attacked by her Belle Horsey on Friday morning. She had a huge gash on her tiny ear and we went to the walk-in clinic to have it stitched on the advice of our pediatrician. (They thought it was a good option since Riley is scared of hospitals.) I won’t be going back.

I got there with all three in tow and waited in the cramped waiting room with more germs than you could imagine. I was very worried when they handed me a pager and then surprised when we were called in rather quickly. Riley was mid-chorus of “I don’t want stitches!” when we were taken into the room. The doctor took one look at her ear and told me that she would most likely need surgery by a plastic surgeon that same day and that I need to get her to the ER. Awesome. The nurse added, “And mom needs some help today!” No kidding.

On the way to the hospital, I made arrangements for my mom to leave work and pick up Logan and Finn at the hospital and for Mike to take the rest of the day off. We all met there and went in the ER. Immediately the story changed and they said they could stitch her. They were shocked that the walk-in clinic had even uttered the word “surgery.” We were totally thankful that no anesthesia would be necessary; that certainly seemed very scary, but would have been easier! Riley did great and amidst terror and being held down, she managed to hold herself together enough to avoid the papoose. I was glad, after experiencing that thing firsthand as a kid, I was so hoping we could circumvent it for her. We left, four hours after we initially left home, with four stitches in her right ear, a stuffed unicorn, a cherry Popsicle and a Tootsie Roll.

Within minutes of arriving home following a happy meal pickup, she was back to normal, but swooning from all the attention. The neighborhood kids came to check on her, family and friends called and I’m sure Daddy and I let her know numerous times how proud we were of her. She was proud of herself, too, and rightly so. She’s a tough little cookie, that’s for sure. And a lucky one too – I am so relieved that our induction into the stitches club was something so minor!

Gotta Light?

I should have taken it as a sign as to how my week would end when Finn mastered both the knowledge and usage of the words "no" and "mine" this week. But even with those accomplishments under his belt, Finn still blew me out of the water Thursday. There is no way to adequately introduce this latest Finnism, I just need to put it out there.

He ate a light bulb.

Yes, you are reading those words. Aren't they ridiculous?

I was folding laundry RIGHT NEXT TO HIM and looked down to see a perplexed look on his chubby face. As he chewed, he looked at me as if to say, "Why did you give me such yucky food?" His lips were dripping a bright ruby red. I looked at his hand and in it he held the base of a Halloween flash light, and still screwed into it, was the base of a light bulb, a jagged edge of glass and the inside wire. A moment ago, the bulb was flashing and the switch still sat in the "on" position. Beat. Beat. Beat.

In an instant, I scooped him up and rushed him to the sink. With one hand, I tried to pry his little jaw open and get the remaining glass out. He bit me several times while screaming and slithering and doing his best to get away. I grabbed the phone with the other hand to call the doctor. Mike walked in the middle of this display and could not believe his ears when I told him what happened. Logan and Riley sat intently watching Arthur through this entire event, I don't think they looked over once. Actually, I don't even know if they are aware of what he did!

Needless to say, Katie the receptionist and Karen the nurse had never fielded this type of situation before; both of them coined it their "first." I am so happy that we could supply this "first" for them. After some discussion, they decided that he need not be checked out, that since it was JUST a flashlight bulb, he'd probably be fine. What a relief!?!

I'm sure that my mother-of-the-year award is justifiably delayed. This surely will remain one of my least proud parental moments. I can't imagine what this means for Finn and his future. Or maybe what it means for mine! He scares me.... he really scares me!