The "S" on my chest.

There is something that I am supposed to remember that I am forgetting. This is the feeling pulsing through my veins on most days. Between the lives of four others and the pseudo career I have created for myself, I feel a bit overwhelmed. Throw in a drug that makes me feel horrible that I just found out I’ll be on for five more weeks and the certain loss of Mike’s job on December 31st and you’ve got one undeniable thing: stress. It’s funny, I’m not paralyzed or freaking out, by my mind feels all scrambled and I can’t remember anything. I feel like a slave to my calendar (even more than usual), just bought a Blackberry to help keep me better organized with work stuff and generally act like a mama hen with her head cut off running her chicks to all their different obligations, left to say “No” when things come up for me to do – only out of pure exhaustion!

There is something to be said for being “Supermom”. I suppose all of us want that title, even if just a little bit. I can admit to you that I’d like to be remembered for doing lots of things well; like being a good wife and mom, daughter and friend and sister, writer and cook, and I want to create and maintain a home that is warm and welcoming and safe and loving. Those are just the basics and that’s enough! When you add the fundraisers and extracurriculars and lessons and eating healthy and doing right by the environment and making sure the dog gets enough love and keeping in touch and following the campaign, it’s no wonder that I’ve been wearing the wrong size bra for a year. Life is complicated.

Maybe the impending upheaval from this job change (and I say “change” because I know that Mike will find something quickly) is just a wake up call. There is so much out of my control right now that all I can do is focus on those basics and make sure there are no major catastrophes along the way. Still, keeping those basics in check is more than a full time job. I know I am not alone; pretty much everyone is in this boat regardless of the specifics. Sometimes I feel like Alicia Keys wrote her song, “Superwoman” just to motivate me, but I quickly remember her words are for all of us gals, just trying to get it done right.

"Superwoman"

Everywhere I'm turning

Nothing seems complete

I stand up and I'm searching

For the better part of me

I hang my head from sorrow

state of humanity

I wear it on my shoulders

Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman

Yes I am

Yes she is

Even when I'm a mess

I still put on a vest

With an S on my chest

Oh yesI'm a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting

For better days to come

And all my women,all my women sitting here trying

To come home before the sun

And all my sisters

Coming together

Say yes I will

Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman

Yes I am

Yes she is

Even when I'm a mess

I still put on a vest

With an S on my chest

Oh yes

I'm a Superwoman

When I'm breaking down

And I can't be found

And I start to get weak

Cause no one knows

Me underneath these clothes

But I can fly

We can fly, Oh

Cause I am a Superwoman

Yes I am

Yes she is

Even when I'm a mess

I still put on a vest

With an S on my chest

Oh yes

I'm a Superwoman